THE hound has a strange, and strained, relationship with cars.

While not opposed on an environmental level, and oddly quiet on the congestion charge debate, she is basically indifferent.

She would not have been a good guest on Top Gear. Vehicles are, to her, a moving bed, or an inconvenience.

As we leave the house and walk towards the latest Wall mobile, she is hoping for a park, a forest, a beach, or ideally a combination of all three, with lots of squirrels to chase and a decent café with treats at the end.

She is always a little deflated when the car beeps, the hazards flash, and the rear door opens with a cavernous but welcoming yawn.

Disappointed but obedient as ever, she jumps up and makes herself comfortable.

She circles around for a bit, leans against the window looking out on the world like a benevolent leader planning their next cull, and in a short while curls up and falls asleep.

She is safe and restrained, I am unbothered and free to podcast scan, and we trundle off.

Outside the car, she is less calm and displays almost no self-control.

She has no sense of danger and appears to see cars as an unnecessary imposition on her time and an unwelcome incursion into her space.

People on the internet say that this behaviour is to be expected given the hound’s ancestral history.

Apparently, dogs see cars as prey to be hunted. Or as playmates who just love to be chased. Or even as attackers who need to be seen off to protect the hounds’ human.

My biggest canine behavioural concern is indifference.

The hound has no road sense. She does not follow – or possibly even remember – the green cross code and will happily wander onto the metalled surface nearest to her if it is the most direct way to get where she wants to go.

And she will nonchalantly stroll down the middle of the road regardless of the restrictions of the highway code.

Having a liberal interpretation of the highway code and embracing risk and danger?

Maybe a Top Gear guest spot would have made sense after all…